The difference between the successful and the failed is KNOWLEDGE. The difference between the successful and the VERY successful is the appropriate application of knowledge, called WISDOM. I just felt a need to remind you to put to use all you’ve been learning on this series. Okay?
We are on Day Ten and we’d be discussing an interesting angle to love. It’s called Compromise. One of the definitions I found on Compromise puts it this way, “to find a way between extremes.” I love that definition as it’s appropriate for today’s discuss.
I have some couples who have personal sessions with me. Yesterday, one of the ladies came to me and talked to me about something she and her man were not agreed on. He was on an extreme and she was on the other extreme. After asking a few questions, I told her the solution was COMPROMISE. They both needed to bend a little and meet somewhere in between.
Now, please note. Compromise here doesn’t mean compromising your CORE VALUES like Integrity, Excellence, Sexual Purity, etc. A loved one who doesn’t respect your core values and wants you to break or bend them on the pretext of love is just plain selfish and self-centered. Please DO NOT COMPROMISE on such grounds.
The compromises allowed are the everyday decision compromises. He wants to go out and you don’t want to; find a way to go out but not go far or not spend too long. She wants to buy an expensive dress but you want to save money; find a way to still buy something worthwhile but not too expensive so some money is still saved. Please, do you understand the compromise I’m referring to now?
Bend for each other every now and then. In fact, once in a while, don’t just meet in the middle, GO ALL THE WAY and meet him/her on their own extreme. You claim to love her right? So, honour her desires every now and then even if you’re not too comfortable doing it. You cannot dance but she wants you to dance. Please dance. Even if you make a fool of yourself while dancing, you two would laugh and it would add to your pleasant memories.
Many love relationships crash because both parties have grown to INSIST on their own way! You hear, “I don’t want her taking me for granted!” or “He needs to value my own opinions.”
Yes! I agree. Like we discussed previously, I believe with better communication, you’d understand each other better. But as you do, still make compromises for each other. Join her in visiting her parents even if you don’t feel like. Join him in watching that soccer game even if it bores you. Make some compromises. You would discover that you would begin to love and appreciate each other better.
But I repeat, NEVER COMPROMISE on your CORE VALUES. That’s not love; it’s rather an abuse of love.
Until you read from me again tomorrow, I ask that you please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING!
I love you!
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)