We’ve finally gotten to Day 14, the day that makes the entire month special; the “day of love”. Today I choose to talk about something that has come to characterise February 14th, and that is lust. So, I’m saying, LOVE is not LUST.
A dictionary defines LOVE as an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person. The same dictionary defines LUST as a feeling of strong desire, especially such a feeling driven by sexual arousal. I believe these definitions are self explanatory.
Is it love when someone you are not married to wants to touch you? Is it love when you have to do it in places no one will see you? Is it love when you agree to doing what makes you feel guilty afterwards. I wonder why sex is called “making love”. In marriage, we could understand but for anything outside that, it is plain “indulging lust”.
Love has control, lust doesn’t. Why does he seem like he loses control when he’s around you. That’s lust at work. And guess what, if you don’t satisfy his lust, he’ll still satisfy it somewhere or somehow else. Why are you allowing someone use you for selfish reasons. If he/she threatens to leave you if you don’t ‘satisfy’ their sexual urges, that’s MORE THAN ENOUGH PROOF that there’s no love in the equation.
I am intentionally stopping now, so that I don’t take too much of the time you intend to spend with your loved one(s) today. Please don’t use love as a platform to either satisfy your lust or satisfy another person’s lust. IT ALWAYS ENDS IN HATE and A LOT OF SHAME AND HURT. Many examples abound to prove my point.
Please get in touch if you need more clarifications or if you want to know what boundaries to set and how to make sure the boundaries stand. You could also reach me if you want to be accountable to me on your love life. Many people have avoided pit falls because they allowed me, or some other godly counsellor, walk with them.
Enjoy the celebration. I’ll be back tomorrow. Until then, please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING!
I love you.
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)
The difference between the successful and the failed is KNOWLEDGE. The difference between the successful and the VERY successful is the appropriate application of knowledge, called WISDOM. I just felt a need to remind you to put to use all you’ve been learning on this series. Okay?
We are on Day Ten and we’d be discussing an interesting angle to love. It’s called Compromise. One of the definitions I found on Compromise puts it this way, “to find a way between extremes.” I love that definition as it’s appropriate for today’s discuss.
I have some couples who have personal sessions with me. Yesterday, one of the ladies came to me and talked to me about something she and her man were not agreed on. He was on an extreme and she was on the other extreme. After asking a few questions, I told her the solution was COMPROMISE. They both needed to bend a little and meet somewhere in between.
Now, please note. Compromise here doesn’t mean compromising your CORE VALUES like Integrity, Excellence, Sexual Purity, etc. A loved one who doesn’t respect your core values and wants you to break or bend them on the pretext of love is just plain selfish and self-centered. Please DO NOT COMPROMISE on such grounds.
The compromises allowed are the everyday decision compromises. He wants to go out and you don’t want to; find a way to go out but not go far or not spend too long. She wants to buy an expensive dress but you want to save money; find a way to still buy something worthwhile but not too expensive so some money is still saved. Please, do you understand the compromise I’m referring to now?
Bend for each other every now and then. In fact, once in a while, don’t just meet in the middle, GO ALL THE WAY and meet him/her on their own extreme. You claim to love her right? So, honour her desires every now and then even if you’re not too comfortable doing it. You cannot dance but she wants you to dance. Please dance. Even if you make a fool of yourself while dancing, you two would laugh and it would add to your pleasant memories.
Many love relationships crash because both parties have grown to INSIST on their own way! You hear, “I don’t want her taking me for granted!” or “He needs to value my own opinions.”
Yes! I agree. Like we discussed previously, I believe with better communication, you’d understand each other better. But as you do, still make compromises for each other. Join her in visiting her parents even if you don’t feel like. Join him in watching that soccer game even if it bores you. Make some compromises. You would discover that you would begin to love and appreciate each other better.
But I repeat, NEVER COMPROMISE on your CORE VALUES. That’s not love; it’s rather an abuse of love.
Until you read from me again tomorrow, I ask that you please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING!
I love you!
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)
This blessed me. I hope it blesses you too!
Hey guys! Please forgive my hiatus. I’ve been in deep thought about some stuff. Have you ever wanted to do something, but just not sure what that something was? I’ve been feeling this for some time and I think I may have an idea. I want to be able to help people but not exactly sure how to get to where I need to with it so I thought, why not post here as I’ve been doing and maybe it will lead somewhere else. My testimony is a nice beginning.
Another reason I live my lifestyle is because of an abortion. In 1996, I met a guy after the abusive one I described in my post “The Start of it All”. He was really sweet but I honestly wasn’t ready for him. I was not together mentally, physically, spiritually, nor emotionally so how could I enter into a relationship? Not…
View original post 639 more words
Many thanks to everyone who has watched the video and passed comments and opinions across but I need more opinions. What is your take on sex before marriage? Please air your views as comments on this page. I sincerely want to know your take on the issue. And for those who found it difficult viewing the Virginity Video on this page, please download the video here:
Please don’t forget to follow my blog via email to receive notifications of subsequent posts.
Consistency is one of the hardest things to achieve. I am trying to be consistent with my blogging, alongside many other responsibilities I have. What are you working on? Are you working at being consistent. It’s hard but possible.
I love you!
Life isn’t about what you got but about what you gave; that’s the only thing that will live after you.
I have always marveled at the unparalleled ecstasy and thrill we experience whenever we win. I was sitting close to a lady sometime recently; she was playing Candy Crush! You should have seen her joy every time she won. I couldn’t help smiling along, sharing in her joy. Winning is beautiful.
I desire you to win also in EVERY sphere of your life. There are SEVERAL key notes and nuggets when it comes to winning but for the sake of this post, I would mention just four (4).
I would use as a case-study a football match we played over the weekend. I doubled as coach and ‘super-sub’. It was a beautiful football match and we loved it all the way. By the way, we won 2-1.
To win, my first nugget to you is HAVE A PLAN!
Draw up your winning strategy. No one just wakes up in the morning and wins. You need to map out a plan, direct a course and endeavor to stick to it.
Secondly, be up and doing. Start executing your plans. While not executing, rehearse/practice/experiment; that is, keep working on yourself to improve your chances and reduce your odds against your competition.
As a third nugget, I would ask that you please get like-minded people on your team. Get cheer leaders! In this world of many ‘Nay-Sayers’, get a committed team of supporters who would stand by you, advise you and constructively criticize you as the case may be. You will continuously need their cheers. And be faithful to your supporters (family, friends, co-workers, etc)!
Finally, my fourth nugget is: CELEBRATE your successes; even the little ones! Please, tap yourself on the shoulder every now and then and appreciate yourself (even if others don’t.) Never allow discouragement get the better of you at any time.
I believe in you and know you will win!
Shout out to Pastor Tobi Alli (Dr. Feel) and his adorable wife for hosting us!!!
I love you!
(Please follow this blog if you haven’t, with your email or your own blog. You’ll automatically get notifications of new posts! Thanks)
Thanks for following my blog. If you have not, please do!
You know what? I am presently bleeding, not physically though. Bleeding at heart! Do you know why? I see my society and yours slowly dying; our values being eroded so fast. Why, because of a silent poison we seem unaware of.
What’s the poison? Complacency!
Many of us do NOTHING about the ills we see. We say “what can I do?” or “it is already a norm”…excuses!
Evil prevails because good people do NOTHING about it! Can we rise today and at least, SAY SOMETHING! I am quite a controversial person with some of the things I advocate but at least I AM TALKING!!! One or two people will be inspired to change.
Do you have a change you want to effect and you want to speak out, please post it as a comment here, or better still, SPEAK UP on your social media platforms and tag me please; I want to agree publicly with you! One or two people (and that’s an understatement) might just agree with you and join you in your cause.
Let’s be the change we want to see!
I love you!
Continued from “Admission: My Epic Experience 1 !!”
I wrote the second jamb and I passed too but with a lesser score than the first one. Which school did I even choose then self? I think I chose FUTA. I traveled down to Akure, wrote the exam and all but the story didn’t change as I’m still waiting for the last list. During this period, I was staying with my Uncle somewhere around Ojodu because I had gotten a job around there and couldn’t afford going to my father’s house every day. I wrote the next UTME and failed with swag, lol. It’s not what you think, at least I scored 190 or something close to that and could still write Polytechnic Post UTME with that; Polytechnic was never my thing sha so I didn’t take that option and had to wait for another year. As at this time, most of…
View original post 1,451 more words