We would be taking three questions again today. Let’s quickly dive into them.
What do I do when the person I am in relationship with says to me, ‘he doesnt feel it anymore, it’s not there like it should be’. Is it too early (courtship) to fight to keep the relationship, or is it a sign that it is not meant to be?
Thank you for this question. This happens in almost all relationships at one point or the other. It is that point when all the “blazing flames” cool down; that moment when there’s no spark anymore or when the excitement is just missing. And you look at the person and wonder what made you commit in the first place.
This state is not enough reason to quit on the relationship. Rather, you fight for it. It’s a normal feeling but what do you do about it?
Go out! Take yourselves to the cinemas, to shows, eateries etc. Just go have some fun together outdoors. Take a vacation with the person (if married), go on multiple dates in a week (for those in relationships). Laugh together! Sing together! Dance together!
You’d be amazed how fast the feelings will resurrect. Most likely your relationship has become routine and is now boring. Spice it up. Bring some new life into it. Remind yourselves of what made you fall in love in the first place.
And back it up with prayers. You need God to keep your love-life on point. Please do this and I’m sure you’d be sending me wedding pictures soon (for those courting) and baby pictures (for the married). #smiles
Dear Dr. Love, I’ve been finding myself just ‘resenting’ my roommate for no reason. It comes sometimes. I don’t show it but it’s there in my heart. Almost like I’m burning in anger towards her, and I can’t find a reason for it. Sure she has some habits I find disgusting/ridiculous but it’s not that bad, they are not even immoral. I’ve verbally chosen to love her, I’ve pushed myself to do things for her, I’ve prayed. But I don’t know what else to do. It doesn’t seem to be reducing.
I love your question and I love your heart. I won’t dwell on this question long because I believe you’re already doing the right things. You just need to STICK AT THEM. It sometimes takes longer than we hope to have a change of heart towards somebody.
The three major things to do are what you’ve been doing.
PRAY FOR HER. The more you pray for someone, the more you love the person.
LOVE HER VERBALLY. Keep speaking well to her and well of her when talking to other people.
LOVE HER PRACTICALLY. In your actions, keep loving on her.
Keep to these three consistently and you’d be amazed that before long, she could become your best friend. She needs you and you need her. We all need each other.
Good afternoon. I have been receiving your podcasts from Courageous. I have a question; when you think or know you love someone, but that love in your heart is not stable, is that really love?
Your question seems similar to the first question on today’s episode but it’s not totally the same.
For you, I would ask, what moved you to love the person in the first place. If your attractions were just physical and not deeper things that deal with spirit and soul, you would likely get disconnected from the person very often and the “love” would be unstable.
Many people claim to love a person because of the body (physically package) but forget to remember that everybody has a spirit and soul. When these other two come into play, you might feel, see and discover things that you are not comfortable with and anytime those things prop up, your “acclaimed love” gets shaky.
So, when you’re choosing to love someone, open your eyes to the complete package and don’t be beclouded by just one prominent part of the package. Okay?
I believe these answers are settling things in your heart. Thanks for reading. Please remember to share this with your loved ones. I will be back tomorrow with more questions. Until then, please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING!
I love you.
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)