The Love Series (Day 17): Question 2

I must say I am encouraged by the feedbacks I’ve been getting from The Love Series. I count it a joy that you granted me access into your lives and the access is changing things for good. I have received more questions than I thought I would. And I know more are coming. So that I would be able to address all, I would be answering more than one per episode. Let’s do this!

Anonymous:
That forgiveness thing ehn, do you need to reach the person and tell them you hold nothing against them?

Doctor Love:
I would answer this from three perspectives.
First, if the person doesn’t know he/she offended you, then please reach the person, tell the person and offer forgiveness. It would help the person not to do same to another person, since the person did not count it as an offense when done to you.
Second, if the person knows about the offence but is unreachable, you don’t have to go in a quest for the person. Just let it go.
Third, if the person knows about the offense and is reachable, please talk about it. Call the person to order and then offer your forgiveness. It would give both you and the offender peace and open a door for possible restoration of friendship and/or relationship.

Anonymous:
Can you explain what it means to fall in love?

Doctor Love:
According to Wikipedia, falling in love means “moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love”.
So, I would rephrase, it means that moment when what you feel for that person changes; when you begin to see the person in a different light. It’s the moment of “Chemistry”, especially emotionally.

Anonymous:
Sir, please what happens when a loved one always wants to be right; she never accepts she’s wrong or apologise? Me personally, I’m not in the habit of apologising when I did nothing wrong but if you say I’m wrong, I’ll try to argue that I’m right but I’ll eventually say “I’m sorry” or “no vex”.

Doctor Love:
When you discover someone always wants to be right, you’ve just answered your own question. Don’t argue with the person. It doesn’t make sense to fight a battle you already know you’ll lose. Why not win the battle with another strategy!
What’s the new strategy. Whenever she proves a point, even if you’re not at fault, APOLOGISE and move on. Soon, she’d soften.
Ask anybody who has a “quarrelsome” loved one. The more you argue, the more arguments arise. They LOVE quarrels and arguments. So WIN WITH LOVE! Always apologise and try to see things from the person’s perspective. Sooner or later, that loved one would calm down and start listening to you too. Respect earns respect.
Woul it be easy? NO, especially when you know you are right. But would it be worth it, a big YES.
Remember, the end point is to heal and maintain your love relationship with that person. It’s a worthy compromise!

Thank you for your questions. I would be back tomorrow. Until then, please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING.

I love you!
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)

6 thoughts on “The Love Series (Day 17): Question 2

  1. Ikemba

    Hmmmm… Thanks Doc!

    QES: What can you say about love at first sight, is it even possible? Please Sir, answer using your own experience as a case study.

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  2. your daughter R

    DAD…….. forgiveness is easy but what about the forgetting aspect, OK I forgive someone who came to our home homeless and all he could repay us with is abusing my little niece who isn’t up to 11 yrs old. pls sir how can I forget such memories! thanks in advance sir.

    Like

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