We’ve finally gotten to Day 14, the day that makes the entire month special; the “day of love”. Today I choose to talk about something that has come to characterise February 14th, and that is lust. So, I’m saying, LOVE is not LUST.
A dictionary defines LOVE as an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person. The same dictionary defines LUST as a feeling of strong desire, especially such a feeling driven by sexual arousal. I believe these definitions are self explanatory.
Is it love when someone you are not married to wants to touch you? Is it love when you have to do it in places no one will see you? Is it love when you agree to doing what makes you feel guilty afterwards. I wonder why sex is called “making love”. In marriage, we could understand but for anything outside that, it is plain “indulging lust”.
Love has control, lust doesn’t. Why does he seem like he loses control when he’s around you. That’s lust at work. And guess what, if you don’t satisfy his lust, he’ll still satisfy it somewhere or somehow else. Why are you allowing someone use you for selfish reasons. If he/she threatens to leave you if you don’t ‘satisfy’ their sexual urges, that’s MORE THAN ENOUGH PROOF that there’s no love in the equation.
I am intentionally stopping now, so that I don’t take too much of the time you intend to spend with your loved one(s) today. Please don’t use love as a platform to either satisfy your lust or satisfy another person’s lust. IT ALWAYS ENDS IN HATE and A LOT OF SHAME AND HURT. Many examples abound to prove my point.
Please get in touch if you need more clarifications or if you want to know what boundaries to set and how to make sure the boundaries stand. You could also reach me if you want to be accountable to me on your love life. Many people have avoided pit falls because they allowed me, or some other godly counsellor, walk with them.
Enjoy the celebration. I’ll be back tomorrow. Until then, please KEEP LIVING and KEEP LOVING!
I love you.
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)