Welcome to Day Four of The Love Series. Many thanks to those who have been making comments on the blog, I am delighted this series is blessing you. I’ve started noting your questions too. I would begin answering them by Day 16. Please post your comments and questions here on the blog.
When I publicised this series on social media, I used a quote which I would be talking about today. I said, LOVE COMES SOFTLY! Let me break it down a little. Love comes, grows, enlarges, swells, fills, permeates, intoxicates SOFTLY. I deliberately did not use the word slowly but softly.
So, if what you feel for that person came as a “rush” or came “violently”, consuming all your thoughts, giving you sleepless nights in just one or two days of meeting the person, IT MOST LIKELY ISN’T LOVE. It would die off with the same intensity with which it came. I’m sure you might have had one or two experiences that confirm this already.
Love Is the most tender feeling any human being would ever experience and Love in itself is tender.
A mother conceives and the child begins to grow in her womb. She begins to love the child even before seeing the child. She tenderly rubs on her protruding belly every now and then. After delivery, she smiles as she watches the child suck. Over the years, her love for her child keeps growing. That’s LOVE.
“But that is maternal instincts”, you say.
The same applies with ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP. You see the person for the first time and something in you responds. Every time you see the person or talk with the person, the feeling grows. Every time you hear the person laugh, you smile. The person’s pain becomes yours, same as the person’s joy. Folks, that’s LOVE!
Love isn’t what many artistes portray in their songs or what many producers portray in their movies. What do they know about love? If they understood love, wouldn’t they be able to keep their homes? So, why pay so much attention to their lines (in songs and movies) if you don’t want your love life to CRASH like theirs.
They talk often and depict love that wants something from the other person. They paint love as an instant feeling. They even call sex “making love”. A guy or lady sleeps with you and while doing it, says ‘I love you’ in the heat of passion. But few days after, you don’t hear anything from the fellow again. It wasn’t LOVE. Love doesn’t seek immediate gratification. Love always wants CONTINUITY.
So, please assess yourself. Can you call what you feel for that person love? Can you, in the light of what I’ve said, say he loves you? Has it all been on a fast-forward craze or are you getting to know each other more? Is it only your bodies you touch when you see or do your hearts knit together in beautiful conversations?
Many people who have hurt you and made you say, “I thought she loved me” or “if that’s love, I don’t ever want to love again”, never really loved you. So, don’t get it twisted. Love is deliberate. Love grows. Love builds roots before it sprouts. LOVE COMES SOFTLY.
Until we “see” again tomorrow. Please keep living and keep loving!
I love you!
Timi Adigun (Doctor Love)