Susan’s Dairy (1)

Sept 25th 1996

-Today was my first day in Immaculate High School. The students seem nice. The teachers are okay. Seems like I would have fun here.

-Mum just apologized to me the 5th time in two days for changing my school because of her financial constraint.

-I love mum. She has raised me alone since dad left us. We both cried together till we could no longer cry. And then, silly us, we began to laugh through our tears.

 

Sept 29th 1996

-My first week in Immaculate High was so cool. There are so many assignments for this weekend that I doubt I would have time for you, my dairy, in a while.

 

Oct 2nd 1996

-A pretty brunette walked up to me and asked to be my friend. I agreed and we hit it straight off; she seems nice but seems weird too.

-We both went to the Christian fellowship on her invitation. The people there were nice but prayed in some strange way; they called it praying in tongues.

 

Oct 30th 1996

-Dear dairy, I’ve missed you. It has been a busy month. I now have many friends Tammy, the brunette, Cole, Sandra, Pete, Gregory, and Martha. We are good friends.

-We all attend fellowship and I have started praying in tongues too: that was after I rededicated my life to Christ. It’s so exhilarating.

 

Nov 3rd 1996

-I am so excited. I was given my half term report and I was second in my class. My teachers are so happy with me.

-Mr. Smith seemed so impressed with my performance in his Math class that he gave me a hug. But his hug was too tight and was a little too long.

 

Nov 5th 1996

-Pastor Allen talked about having God’s peace in storm. It was a great message. I actually cried at some point in his message. Mum  cried too; it seemed he was talking to us.

-I just wish God will bless my mum, she needs a miracle!

 

Nov 8th 1996

-Happy birthday to me!

-Mum surprised me with a cute teddy for my bday. I hugged her and told her the teddy meant the world to me. She smiled and nodded through her tears. I know she wished she could do better.

-When I got to class, there was a huge card waiting on my desk; signed by all members of my class. I had to bite my tongue to keep from crying. I love my school.

-Now I cried. I got to the school fellowship after school and I saw they had arranged a mini party for me and I had a cake to cut. The last time I cut a cake for my bday was 12 years back, on my 3rd birthday.

Nov 10th 1996

-Mr. Smith called me to his office. I noticed he kept looking at my legs. He asked me questions but he seemed not to be listening, he was gawking at me.

-I wanted to tell my friends but decided not to insinuate anything.

 

Nov 26th 1996

-Dairy, I’m back! Pastor Allen talked about being careful and wary of wolves in sheep clothing. The only picture that came to my mind when he said that was Mr. Smith’s face.

 

Nov 27th 1996

-I have been crying for the last two hours. Mr. Smith violated me. Why didn’t I run? After the extra lessons he fixed for five of us in his office, he asked me to wait behind. I remembered Pastor’s words and wanted to run but he seemed serious today, he hardly looked at me throughout the extra class.

-He came over to me and started saying trash and I told him ‘no’. It was then I saw in his eyes something that scared the hell out of me. The rest is history.

-Who do I tell? If I tell mum, it’ll kill her. If I tell my class teacher, will he believe me? I guess I’ll tell my Christian friends.

-I HATE Mr. Smith

Nov 28th 1996

-I am fagged out right now. I hardly slept. I feel dirty and used. I’m no longer a virgin – it just dawn on me.

-I couldn’t tell mum yesterday, I wish I could. I hope my friends will not reject me.

-I’m back from school. I didn’t see Mr. Smith throughout today.

-My Christian friends are dolls. They empathized with me and prayed with me. The guys excused us and the girls asked me questions. I hadn’t thought of the pregnancy part but I told them I menstruated the day before he forced me and they all heaved a sigh of relief.

-It was like they felt what I felt and identified with me.

-They asked God to ensure I didn’t contract any STD’s and asked Him to comfort me.

-We agreed to talk again after school tomorrow; shortly before fellowship time.

-They told me to read Matt 18:23-35. They refused to tell me what was there.

-I have just read the scripture and I know it will take God to make me do what that scripture requires of me.

-Dairy, sorry I have wet you with my tears again. See you tomorrow!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s